Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
