Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
