there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
