I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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