About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
