better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
