how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
