She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
