while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
