AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our cab driver is having phone sex.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize