i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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