Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
