you guys were way drunker than both of me
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
