We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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