My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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