Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
