Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
