3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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