even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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