i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
