I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize