that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
