Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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