look no pants
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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