Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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