ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
