Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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