Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
