pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
