it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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