great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
