so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
