if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
