Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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