For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
