what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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