Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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