don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
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