listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
