My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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