We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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