Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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