she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
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But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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