uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
