I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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