omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
