There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
