We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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