i always forget guys have bellybuttons
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize