do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
