I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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