I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
