Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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