But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
