Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
