she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
