Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize