"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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