he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
